Saturday, July 12, 2014

In the grips of hell...

Let me preface this whole post firstly by saying I am the mother of two successfully potty trained children.  The world of potty training was at my hands! I had the literature and know how to determine when would be a good time and emerged victorious. Easy and tear free...until I met my third child.

I took note when she would come up and say,"I poo-pooed change me", or physically took off her Huggies pull-up and threw it in the garbage on her own without me even asking. 
I prided myself in the fact that she was so  smart and only 2 years old. The potty chair had always been there. A fixed specimen that moved locations gracefully from bathroom to living basically wherever she wanted. Yes this third child was demanding. "Don't you want to be a big girl!" I would retort?, "Don't you want to be just like your sisters?". "Don't you want like a giant cookie, candy bar or triple layer cake!!!" (screw the 1 piece of M&M's candies. I was going big!)
"Quite frankly no....I am content doing number 1 and 2 easily in my diaper.", I thought I heard her mutter.
Who wouldn't???? After 2 years of doing the dirty standing why do I need to have a large potty ring around my precious derriere. I can quite simply stand and play and eat and well you know poop and get it all accomplished !
 I remember going to visit family in Greece as a young adolescent and visiting a "public" restroom there. Apparently you can stand and do the deed in a large septic hole! Maybe this whole concept of potty training was for the birds! I mean she won't go to kindergarten in diapers....will she??
My ego got the best of me though and so I soilder on with the potty seats, mini potty chairs and the oh so special kids hand soap. Isn't it everyone's incentive to wash your hands with soap after you do the dirty? 

When we were little we, as girls, were taught to hover over the seat. There was no mini anything. No fancy paper toilet covers to make your experience germ free.  Let alone Ipads that you can watch while waiting to go. These are some of the more ridiculous potty chairs I found while researching  "self help" for potty victims.
potty seats
Like if you child can read his/her name then they are a freaking genius or way to old to just start potty training!
potty chairs
This one is particularly nice because it plays music and scoots around the house!
funny potty chair
No words for this one....this is like for the future trader who is checking the markets while getting business done.
This is how I am consuming my time now.  Anyone who has had a difficult "potty" kid will understand.It literally is your whole day and some of the most unrewarding work as a parent. If there are any parents out there with similar stories. Please leave your comments below. I could use a good laugh to get me through this one.
Love and Tulips,
Nicole from Alpharetta